A Helpful Distinction

“Discipline a child for being disobedient, not for being a child. Be patient with mere immaturity”-Gavin Ortlund

I feel a little ashamed that I needed this common sense quote. Like a lot of common sense, it hit me like a ton of bricks after I read it.

Having a two-year-old, I’m constantly confronted by senseless and frustrating immaturity. Whining to have shoes put on only to immediately remove them. Going to the potty, demanding to be cleaned up, then promptly sitting back on the potty to go again. Using mash potatoes like shampoo: lather, rinse, repeat.

Her immaturity often makes me have to do work, which can make it frustrating but it’s still just the result of her childish immaturity.

Since this quote has stuck with me, every time I feel myself getting frustrated I ask myself, “Is this disobedience or immaturity?” When I recognize it as immaturity, I find myself calming down (most of the time).

If we discipline mere childishness, we disrupt peace because the child can’t be a child. When we discipline disobedience, we are creating peace (though disrupting a false peace).

I hope this distinction provides you with guidance as you deal with your own children’s disobedience and immaturity.